Air troubles

One of my two working ac window units just died. In a house with four rooms and sixty year old insulation, when it's hundreds (hundreds!) of degrees outside, that's no joke. It's boiling. I've decided I need one of these:

I mean really. Have you ever seen anything so lovely? I can almost see it sitting here at my desk with me. Bright blue, oscillating, even safe enough for my cats not to lose a paw in. If the financial aid office ever gets around to giving me any money, I might just have to splurge. Although if one magically shows up on my doorstep from a secret admirer, I wouldn't put up too much of a fight. Just sayin, y'all.